Dating Poverty

I've sort of want to date, I haven't been on any bad dates(or good ones) recently, frankly I haven't been on any dates period. I don't really want to. I want to take it easy. I'm enjoying actually being out of the frenzy and out of the heart ache. I have enough to deal with right now. I don't want to deal with the who will pick up the check moment.

Actually I'm really good about telling boys that I'm poor and I need to keep low key. Most just scurry away when I mention my bought with artistic poverty. I don't mind, those are usually judgmental types like accountants (not that there's anything wrong with being an accountant) I just find that the majority of that people judge me in a bar are those from the financial sector. It's an odd little bit of being poor I guess, I don't mind actually, because frankly I don't like dating poor people myself ... unless they're really really really hot. Sigh. Did I mention I'm trying to break old patterns.

In any case, New York dating does require funds for show. The dining and the booze and the happy-go-luckiness. I remember seeing a doctor a while back, he always insisted on going dutch and bitching about how difficult it was to renovate his apartment, I was making a waiters wage at the time and didn't mind going dutch. We started seeing each other a few times each week and it just became financially odd for me.

So hence my moment of pondering. Social etiquette dictates the picking up of a check, yet I want to mention a new rule. He who makes over a hundred thousand dollars a year should pick up the check every once in a while. I'm not saying that it should be picked up all the time, no, because frankly I enjoy picking up the check, just maybe once a week have it picked up for me. Mostly as a gesture.

I also can't understand why people are so afraid to talk about their state of finance. Since I've known rich people to be very poor and poor people to be very rich (this paradox) is very very true. It's all about how we treat each other. I won't forget the days from when I worked at the Essex House and we had a resident that went through bankruptcy, we were instructed not to give him access to his apartment, because he was renting. Soon very soon, he found himself another apartment in the very same building. He treated us well, we liked him and we took care of him in his moment of trouble.

I don't want to seem self righteous, yet I've noticed a habit of mine, the giving away of my last dollar to the chinese food delivery guy in the form of a tip. I'm happy with the habit, I figure the dollar will go farther for him then it does for me. I can only hope that someday I'll meet a guy that feels the same way I do about my last dollar.

So I've begun to understand poverty is a very relative thing and something I can readily fix.

Comments

[Minus the Halo]

Ever since I've given up trying to impress people, I've met wonderful, real people instead of the boring vacuous (but hot)money-men. No matter what happens -even if it's a momentary connection -it's always better with authentic people. Depth is sexy.

[Joseph]

First thing first, I feel what you are saying because I am a struggling artist myself. Secondly, I refuse to date 'money-makers' anymore. The last one I dated wasn't even a doctor yet (senior med student), and still managed to make me feel like shit. And it wasn't even about money, but about my intelligence level and my abilities as a writer. So yes, it is best to stick with our, umm, kind.

[Drew]

Dude...you need to get back to work...both for your personal sanity...and to keep your writing interesting.

[TCho]

A friend of mine just drops change randomly on the street sometimes. He figures someone else will find and put it to better use than him.

[Charlie]

I am a self-sufficient guy, and couldn't care less what the other person made - whether i'd be more, or less. Even if the guys is a student and struggling, I always go dutch, I just feel like I shouldn't have to pay for someone elses meal unless we have a more intimate connection. It's kind of like prostitution. The only instance where I paid for the other party was my ex: who funny enough probably made more than myself...the things you do for love.