Saying Hi

I often get asked. How I can simply talk to so many men (I really do mean talk get your minds out of the gutter). I just ask their name. After all I like talking to people, I also don’t just say hi to all the cute boys out there. I love listening to peoples stories.

I actually learned this skill one time watching a really attractive guy mingle at a cocktail party. He finally came to me; I was young and simply cowering in a corned. Yes, once a long time ago - I too was once young. I know it’s hard to believe (the peanut gallery needs to stop laughing right now).

So this cute man just stuck his hand out and asked my name, we started a pleasant conversation that lead well, nowhere. Yet I asked him, “How is it so easy for you to just talk to guys.” I’ll never forget, he shrugs and just gave me the advice that I’m now imparting to you. “Say hi and just see what happens.”

My therapist also says that I’m not good at asking people for what I need. That’s true because in childhood I had to fight for small things that mattered to me. Small freedoms that I could never ask for; so hence. This was the first step to growing. The ability to form relationships with a smile and not put to much pressure on a first encounter. I finally broke from my long ago shyness; now when asking guys their names, I also feel like assessing their confidence. I can finally say I don’t take it personally, well not as much. A lot of people take my interest for granted, yet that’s a risk I take. I just wish more people would say hi to me.

I’m also an odd date off sorts; some people don’t know what to do with my random pool of knowledge. I can tell you about the hierarchy of angels and about how runes can be used for meditation; yet for the life of me I can’t stop calling my iPod a Palm Pilot and vice versa or actually grasp what day of the week it is. My best friend has finally given up correcting me. I do it so often. So yes. I can say hi yet as far as asking a boyfriend to hug me. Can’t do it. Don’t know how. So hence the need to grow and the growth I’m trying to achieve for myself.

Last night I met this guy that I knew I had absolutely no interest in beyond a one nighter. We hooked up and for the first time I felt really bad about just fooling around with someone just to fool around with someone. So there I said it... my I wonder what’s next.

Comments

[michael]

I remember when I first started going out to bars I was absolutely petrified to speak to anyone. Eventually, I got over it, but I'm still a bit quiet. People are so used to someone wanting something when they say hi that it seems like they forget people can just be nice and want to chat.