I've come to realize, that I just don't hook up much; not like I used to anyway. When I first came to the city, it would occur at least once a week. I spent lots of time, in bars and online looking for the hottest and the most hung. I was enamored with the men of New York; they’re availability and willingness to hit the sack. I say this with hindsight because I was taking the first steps to coming out, that is, finally accepting and realizing that I just didn’t want to sleep with women. So yes the buffet of men excited me.
Now I just want someone normal and cute. A large part of me wonders how many frogs I’ll have to kiss before I find my Prince.
I remember when I was a wee little lad and getting laid was the thing, I remember when I’d be sexually frustrated and feel ugly when I didn’t take someone home for the night. My how that’s changed, now I look at the cute boys and choose not to talk to them, even when they wink madly and toss their hair. I’m over the men that flirt and move on to someone else. Get six numbers in the bar and go home with all of them, in turn. I’m glad to say I’ve gotten over the gorgeous man.
I’m now excited about custom furniture and friends. I want to start throwing cocktail parties.
This bit of nostalgia was brought on recently by Bruce Weber, I was in Barnes and Nobel, my jaw dropped as I swear my Ex is on the cover. It’s the spitting image of him. I buy the book and ponder, finally I contact him. We start emailing back and forth then chat. When it’s time to meet, I hear his voice constrict. He confesses, he’s caught Herpes. UGH. My jaw drops, I’m no longer considering going to his place. I’m a bit scared. My shaken voice, asks if it’s before or after we dated, He assures me it’s after. I’m relived. He swears he’s only played safe.
That episode sort of scared me. My hooking up, even though quite seldom has withered to very very little now. I have so many restrictions on what I’ll do in bed; that well, some boys have been a bit disappointed. So now I wonder, when will my Mr. Right come? Because frankly, this hooking up bit, is getting really really old. Sigh.
Comments