The Husband

I was at my favorite watering hole last night for happy hour; to have my two cocktails before I wanted to head home and vegetate. I was surprised to meet two husbands. Well not together, each had a partner. One was married in Boston the other in Canada. They happily proclaimed that they had been with their husbands for 32 and 6 years, respectively.

A few thoughts immediately came to mind. One of them was remarkably sexy; I was instantly jealous, I wanted him for myself. So now I'm stuck with that word, Husband. It's not the same as boyfriend. Which the gay community has used interchangeable with Husband. Yet the word carries so much more weight, a legal and binding commitment, a financial tie. It's strange because I still wanted to ask the guy on a date myself, yet in good conscious I couldn't. He was unavailable. At least he was labeled. I was happy for the label. Gratified actually, that someone for a change was straight forward about the entanglement that would ensue if I chose to make an ass out of myself and actually try and take it further then an innocuous cocktail at a bar. It's not the same after all, the guy didn't have a wife. It's different, because the commitment is a homosexual not a heterosexual vow. It states a few things. One that they both feel comfortable in their relationship and with themselves; two they wanted to make a commitment and work out their problems. I don't know what they're vows were. Yet in this time where straight couples write their own vows, the traditional ones of "in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer". These powerful words come to mind.

All these thoughts over my cocktail are quite odd, I'm not used to thinking about commitments and deep thoughts in a bar; okay maybe I am but that's really not the point.

After brushing my thoughts aside, I question, how the hell did they do this feat. My first question to both of them is. "Did you sleep with your husband on the first date"? Both said they had. So much for that assumption. My next is, "where did you meet"? Both meet their partners in gay bars. There goes my second assumption.

Then the cute married man made a point. When he sensed my playful frustration. "Well it just takes one person. I met lots of one night stands that I never heard from again." So yes. That is true, it does take one. Just one person. Yet that can be said about lots of things, both good and bad. So yes the power of one, which we discount so frequently, must be remembered.

I'm off to midtown, where I'll be house-sitting for the next week. I hope to be quite productive. I love writing in coffee shops.

Comments

[clay]

i need a husband.