New York, One Gay Date At A Time

The Bathhouse

Shopping at Abercrombie and Fitch on Fifth Avenue, well – what can I say, huh, made me feel like I entered a bathhouse, not just any bathhouse, but a fantasy bathhouse designed by Bruce Weber, with Greek Gods manning the Jean display. The fitting rooms have even been made to mimic wood paneled sex rooms. There’s even a ten foot bronze statue of a man, naked save for one very snug brief and a huge bronze ball. Ripped boys climb ropes in various stages of undress on a five story wall mural; cookie cutter Abercrombie and Fitch girls and boys step from floor to floor going about their shopping.

Beautiful guys just stand at the door. The music makes me feel like I’m late night at the Roxy in both selection and volume; this is not a place for the very old, hearing impaired or people into classical music of any kind. The sense of cool and entitlement permeates from the seventeen year old wanna-be model-store-clerks to patrons, than gently becomes absorbed by the wood paneling that cases the store. Unlike all of its neighbors the Ab&F has no store front, just wood, wood and more wood. I haven’t even begun to mention, the subtle focused lighting, creating not very subtle patches of darkness, as I write this I’m sitting in a very plush chocolate armchair silently pondering the army of clones as they shop.

As I shop and wander aimlessly around I can’t help crushing on a stunningly beautiful sales clerks. Yet none of the sales staff are actually of any help, they just cluster in packs, talking away as they fold the same shirt three or four times.

Despite this fascinating little insight into my jaded design sense and cultural awareness; I want to go buy a cute gray sweater and a pair of jeans.

I just can't help wondering a being a bit scared at the culture of unattainable beauty this brand has create. I'm also a bit puzzled by the blissfully unaware tourists; shopping in a New York gay bathhouse.

[Image Via Abercrombie & Fitch]

Restaurant People

The strangest thing a guest has ever asked me, and this has happened recently mind you. Was to witness the signing of power of attorney, for her soon to be hospitalized mother. They asked it so haphazardly that I was a bit shocking. I apologized and mentioned that if I signed I would be signing as a representative of my company. She seemed to understand, sort of.

I've been in hospitality for quite a while and have noticed some really cool things. Someone, back in the day when I worked room service actually answered the door naked, he was really really ugly if you want to know, He had me leave his tea on the bed and he closed the door. I remember he didn't even leave me that big of a tip.

Working corporate events is also very interesting, everyone always seems to dress the same, or drink the same beverage. Some companies only seem to drink ice tea, others diet coke or regular coke. Some a certain kind of wine, stock brokers and venture capitalists right out of college invariably prefer beer, while those that are more senior prefer wine, once they start feeling comfortable doing business lunch after business lunch and casually talking about million dollar deals, they start to know their wines and can taste the difference and what makes a good wine.

All the executives of Victoria Secret look the same, they also hold their note pads in the same way, one leg bent over the other. This was back when I worked for the Essex House, we hosted a Victoria Secret world executive meeting or something. That's what I was struck by the most, the conformity, how much they looked the same. I still to-this-day remember, they all have a different variance on the same Channel suit, a mole somewhere on a very pretty face, they all looked like they could have just come out of the yearly catalog or been on the cover of Vogue, they walked like supermodels.

Some families also look the same; you can sometimes even seen their dysfunction during the ordering process, or in how they treat us the wait staff and the managers.

Sometimes I like this job, only because of the variety of people.

Jehovah’s Witnesses at My Door

I've mentioned before the recruiting venture of Jehovah’s Witnesses in my area recruiting on a Street Corner (a few months ago during my hiatus). They came knocking on my door. Oh My.

I've had fantasies of what I would do, if this event actually happened, if they actually came a knocking on my chamber door.

The first notion involved letting them in, taking the two; because they always travel in pairs, I'd let them in my front door, we'd have a long healthy discussion about religion and homosexuality, on my very comfy couch.  After a few hours, they would naturally come out and confess that they're gay.  We'd then move to my bedroom and well, the rest can be left to your imagination. I'd score one for liberalism and for helping two new gay boys out of the closet.

In reality. I had salmon steak on the stove, cooking to medium rare perfection. I thought the UPS guy was bringing me books from Amazon, so I rushed to the door to find one really hot boy and one not so hot pudgy boy, both wearing name tags, rapping on my front door.

My jaw dropped, and quickly, I had to make the anxious decision of, entertaining hot boys or destroying my lunch. My brain is ticking, I'm analyzing, their both young. They both have "Elder" name tags, I immediately feel like I'm in a scene from Latter Days. By they way, when I cook around the house. I like to wear a really beat up tank top and my little PJ bottoms with sailboats. I looked hot. Now I must make a decision.  The salmon or the twenty year old boys. I'm hungry so the cooking salmon wins. I'm hungry so I don't turn of the stove and devote full attention to the cute boy trying to convert me.

They start, introducing themselves. Before they have finished, I blurt out “I’m gay." they pause. I continue with "and I know how Jehovah Witnesses feel about gay people." This is when the cute boy, clearly in charge. States, "We're Mormon." with a perverse twinkle in his eye.  "We accept gay people." Sigh. So much for them reeling in shock.

The conversation stalls and I'm worried that my food will burn. There's an odd moment of awkward silence, before I claim to be uninterested. They leave, I hope they'll return, to try again and win me as a prize for their religion.

It hasn't happened and probably won't. Drat.

Christmas Shopping

I’ve begun my excursion into the world of Christmas Shopping. Mind you because I’m a Waiter. I do it during the off time. In the morning, When the crowds of people from New Jersey, the rest of the world and Long Island are safely tucked away at their desk jobs.

I've also taken to being interested in department store cafes, Right now I'm sitting at the most awful tackiest joint in Saxes Fifth Avenue. The little old lady sitting next to me is grumbling at the server who can't speak much English while devouring her free basket of bread.

I've also started to attract much attention because my palm pilot now sits up and has an infrared keyboard attached. Mind you, for me it's a lot easier then lugging along a laptop and setting up my little writing shop somewhere. So yes, my excursion at Sax’s has brought me to the cafe on the eight floor. The guests are tourist stalk; I think most of the people that used to shop at Saxes have moved on to the Shopping Paradise of SOHO or Madison. I haven’t been to a department store in a really long time.

I have various steps to my shopping habits. The first is reconnaissance. Scouting if you will. I like to go and see what's out there. During this time I will inevitable be pressured into buying something on the spot by a Retail Clerk, with the saying " If you don't buy it now, it probably won't be here when you come back to buy it." I smile, as I look at the glass vase and object-de-art that costs five hundred dollars and has a thin layer of dust. I calmly look her way and state. “I feel confident that it'll be here when I return.". This is when I think of the fifty percent off sale that will happen in January.

I've figured out what to get for most of my friends this year. The list has already been made, I like planning, than buying, it takes the pressure off. It allows me a cooling off period of impulse buying that so often comes with this season.

Yes, this is what Christmas has turned into. The buying frenzy and the pressure to meet the bottom line while pushing everyone deeper into credit card dept.

I'm glad that I'm buying very thoughtful gifts for people that mean a lot to me in life.  God I love therapy.

I'm Back

It's about time to. I've wanted to work on this Blog, again – for quite a while now. I miss you all. Okay, enough with the emotions and the group hug.

I do have a lot of new adventures, confessions and insights in store; I might be tinkering with the features of the Blog to.

I also want to thank everyone who's sent me emails and everyone that's left a comment in my absence.

Some of the changes for this blog; are to focus more on my words. I don’t want to be influenced; so much from naysayer and people who just don’t get what I’m doing - Blogging about my own experience with relationships; in New York. Even though I’m going to be aware of people’s concerns, damn it, this is my blog. That said; I’m not going to be as focused on the hit counter, and finally accept that success takes time. To stay the road. I’m also going to need to focus on revenue, because the only way; I’ll be a professional writer and transition from being a waiter, is by supporting myself through writing. I’m planning to do a monthly pledge drive from the main post of the blog and will reposition the ads. I don’t want you to be shocked or say I’m compromising my ethics, yet frankly, I like to write and I also like to eat. It’s just one of those inane facts of life.

Work at The Restaurant has gone remarkably well, has been time consuming, sometimes fun, sometimes tired, yet isn't the main reason I’ve taken time off from this Blog and writing. I needed time to reflect on my life and where I’m going, the decisions I've made and how I've reached this place in my life. I’m 26 and somehow feel like I’m born for the first time. I've been battling Depression for a good long time now, many years actually, it's come and gone in waves. I've had Depression ever since I was a small child. I; like most gay men did not grow up in a nurturing and loving family. Frankly my family didn't even believe in hugging. I also realized that growing up I never actually had a relationship role model. Everything I've learned, and will learn, I’ve taught myself. Like many of us, I don't think my parents really knew how to deal with me as a child.

Oh by the way. Two months ago, I came out to my Mom. That experience I'm saving for a post later in the week.

So my Depression greatly rooted in a multi- generational dysfunctional family; (call me Amy Tan). Culturally and politically torn, flung to the far reaches of the world. I have cousins in Canada, Australia; various areas of the US and some in New York, those cousins happen to believe that being gay is a life style choice.

I have entered Therapy and am very happy with my breakthroughs and the personal insights I’ve achieved. I’ve also been prescribed anti-depressants which have helped me deal with the child abuse I experienced growing up. All in all, I am made for nothing other than writing. I have had a life of a writer and will continue to have one. It’s quite odd sorting the memories of my past and turning them over to my therapist for discussion. I feel strangely like I’m starting to be unburned and fear is leaving me slowly. Many many years off fear.

Now I am finally starting to be more comfortable with my life, yet I have lots of questions and want to rid myself from the shame of my past. Because frankly, I didn’t have a choice in how I was raised, in fact, I was never even a child. I was always an old man, even at twelve.

So with this said, for the first time I am a writer, a writer foremost and with much responsibility. My new goal is to feel comfortable in my skin and to feel as though I belong to this world, while challenging it.

May the Blogging begin - again.

When I'm updating.

Sorry I haven't gotten my posts up sooner, there was a black out on my block and well - electricity and hot water were in short supply.

My plan is to start a regular sequence of posts by Tue or Wed morning. See you then.

Thanks for checking back.

Alex

I’m about to be back.

I’m working on posts.

I’m putting you all on notice, there will be changes. In a few days, I’m starting again, Hooray. (Applaud Here) 

I can’t promise to post as much as I’ve always want to, yet. New stories about gay dating, work and “New York Living” are in store; my it’s been a long five months.

Kisses and hugs are in order – I’ve missed you all. See you in a few days.