The Promise Game

I hate the promise game. It usually occurs at the beginning of most of my relationships and at the very end. This is when I'm promised trips to various places such as Fire Island, Paris, London, Morocco, fabulous parties. Yes Morocco. I think this is the first effort to impress. Inevitably I sigh; when the promise game begins. I know that none of the promises will come true. I don't know why I don't drop the person just then. I really should, considering not once have I actually gotten one of the promised trips abroad.

I don't know what makes people actually promise things they know they'll never deliver, maybe they hope I'll promise something big, when I don't, the promising people are probably disappointed. Yet I just say "That would be nice, I've always want to to go to __________, or do _________, or I've always loved ________." Then I hug or kiss the beau, because this the beginning of the relationship and I still want to do that.

I was recently asked, "what do you have to offer?" (In a relationship). I answered "I'm honest, straightforward, loyal, fun loving, level head, passionate, provide emotional support." Yet that clearly wasn't enough for the person that asked, my words felt like a verbal personal ad. I guess the person who asked was looking for me to talk about future mansions and trips to Morocco on my dime. I can't offer that, I don't know if I ever will, I'd like to, because I'm an innately generous person. I also can't really promise anything massive. Only my own dedication to self improvement.

So the promise game continues and I can't promise lavishness. My "favorite" part of the promise game happens at the end of the relationship - the beau's promise is simple. Tag along and I promise to eventually deliver on my previous promises. The most frustrating - tease. The promise to fulfill promises, now that is when an attempt to control begins. That's when I bow out gracefully and move on, wishing maybe one day for a Moroccan Sunset.

Comments

[Joel]

Wow ... I've never been promised a trip to Morocco ...or Paris, or anywhere abroad, for that matter! Wait ...I was once promised a trip to Seattle, and he did come through on it. I'd be a bit leary of dating a guy who made such extravagant promises at the beginning of a relationship, and as for at the end of one, I Just don't get it?!

All the personal traits you mentioned are admirable ones. You'll get your 'Moroccan sunset' yet.

[scott]

I remember the first guy that made me all the promises...trip to Florida, the Bahamas, a new shiny red Msuctang Convertible. I ran from that guy like he had the plague!!!

[eric]

weird. when I meet someone, I want to know who they are and what they have to offer me from who they are. not what they have. besides, fortunes come and go like the tides; I am too much of a control freak to think that I would rely on someone else "taking care of me" while we were dating. weird!!! :-)

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