Singledom

While trying to come up with witty remarks and words for the day, I realized that I haven’t really focused on the joys of being single and unattached.

Kicking a trick out of bed; is one of those perks, not needing to compromise another. Staying out late at a gay bar, hitting on boys that have no interest, yet another. I can rattle them off – the very long list. Being single means I don’t have to worry about the boy I’m seeing, asking the question “is he cheating on me?” Or – noticing that he isn’t calling. I don’t have to worry about stupid things, like - should I call; no I should wait for another hour and see if he calls. Well he hasn’t called; he’s probably in a meeting. No wait. I’m being too needy. Wait I’m dating him; I shouldn’t feel like crap for liking him. So yes, single is good. 

So this post is an affirmation of my bachelorhood. My current state of Zen existence; as I guzzle coffee and type quickly, I find myself happy. I know I’ll have a relationship eventually, soon even. So I’m in no rush. Now I simply want to wait for the right dude to come along that shares my eclectic group of interests. Such as art.

To the grammar police, singledom is my own invention, it is a word I have come up with; just for this moment in time and is defined by my own personal dictionary, one not to be released to the general public; as - the state of being single. I have officially given myself a license to invent words. The license is nicely framed in teak hanging on my wall as I type. I also have a copy of it in my wallet. Please ask for it if I’m pulled over.

Another license I hold is the ability to be single and simply not care. To simply say; if he doesn’t call. I really don’t care. I’ll have another vodka soda please. That’ll be my seventh. I’m not going to play the game. I’m over it. That is ultimately my self affirmation of sigledom today. Now this moment of clarity is over. Salute.

Comments

[ken]

Careful, self-affirmation sounds a lot like self-destruction sometimes.

[TweedleDee]

Uh, I've always been single and NEVER had a boyfriend.

I mean, what am I supposed to do - be single FOREVER? What the hell?! I've signed up with personals, asked people if they knew anyone, joined singles groups, went to social events, etc.

Yeah, you're waiting for Mr. Right. But at least you get dates. I NEVER GET DATES! Does anyone understand this concept?

I'm a single Asian female searching for a guy but FOREVER DATELESS! I should make a show called the NON-DATING GAME, the personals called NO-MATCH.COM or NODATE.COM or DOOMEDSINGLE.COM. I should be on the cover of Time magazine as the most DATELESS in America!

Sure, I wanted to get married. And then I considered alternative living situations. But since I am FOREVER DATELESS, there's no point in pondering these matters because I will forever be DATELESS!

I mean, if I had a few dates, then I could say that I had a few dates. But I have no dates. ZERO. NO GUY. NOTHING! NEGATIVE INFINITY!

[maroon]

I have embraced "singledom" for a very long time. Here I am at 29 and I've never been in a serious relationship. Up until I moved to NYC 6 years ago, I thought I was good looking with a reasonably good body. However, Since I've been here, there are so many other factors. Like the fact that I'm African-American, so guys try to put a particular stereotype on me, or the fact that everybody wants to just hook up.Another thing is I find myself getting maniacal about my workout at the gym because any ounce of fat is not good.

But then recently, like the guy in a previous post, I met a guy who is really into me. He is GORGEOUS. A gay man's dream...and when he was doing the "stare", I was looking behind me to see if he was looking at someone else. So, can you imagine my surprise when he came over to introduce himself. So now, it's been several dates, and we're still enjoying each others company. Even if it doesnt work out, I feel more confident in my abilities and better about my outlook on life.

[TweedleDee]

Maroon,

Oh the agony for you and this blog author - your endless dates searching for Mr. Right, your model-esque figures, those "stares," too many gorgeous guys just looking to hook up with you.

You gay supermodels have it rough.

As an Asian female, I encounter my share of racial stereotypes and racism. People blame me for Vietnam, WWII, competition with Far Eastern cars, etc. I've even been blamed for how Blacks complain about slavery. It's like I become this racial scapegoat for what all minorities do. I mean, I get blamed for how prisons are filled with Black men, and yet, I'm not Black and I'm not a man (unless me being a minority means that I am a Black man). And, for the record, most of the serial killers are Caucasians. If anything, this society is deviant.

Anyways, it's good that you and the rest here are having wonderful dates... while I blah, blah, blog...

[Alex]

Okay TweedleDee, I've had enough self effacing on this Blog.

[V]

I think self-effacing is a bit mild...holy cow! But kudos on the celebration of singledom. I'm right there with ya! In fact, if you ever make it out to L.A. I'll be glad to share in that seventh vodka soda.

[Joel]

Tweedle honey, you remind me of a guy who came into the mega-store where I was working part-time when I was a student. He shuffled up to the counter and said in a self-deprecating voice, "I don't suppose you have any jobs, do you? I mean you don't even want my application, I bet." Well, umm, no actually we don't.

If you radiate the kind of negativity you have shown in your posts, then its not surprising you don't get asked on dates. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but honestly you need to chill a bit, and show some some joy and confidence in yourself. If you don't like spending time with yourself, how can you expect anyone else to?

[eKapa]

i so relate to the hassle-free living of being single. but hec, i wouldn't mind a bit of action on the side. and no, i won't be doing clubs.

p.s. u sure to attract people who us eur blog as a rant. if dr ruth was a man, (s)he'd be called dr gaygay.

[ashokan420]

So, how does it feel to be like everyone else? Do you take comfort that you have lots of company or distressed to be with the common masses?

Why shouldn't you be able to create a word to suit your meaning? Language is arbitrary anyway. You have just as much right as anyone and everyone to express yourself how you see fit.