Dating Goal

Maybe at times, I have to admit, I haven't really found Mr. Right, maybe my standards have been too high. Yes, sigh, I have to confess. Maybe I to. Someone who once thought immune from unreal standards has succumb to this realization. I've really given up on finding six pack boy, that was important to me when I was 21, yes I went through that phase. Now I'd like someone I can talk to.

I still haven't figured out what the most important element to a relationship is, I find myself doing a lot of forgiving. The other person, not so much. So what am I really looking for in another man, that is what alludes m.

Part of me, I'm afraid to mention wants a family, I know it's odd to be thinking that I might want a little kiddy, yet I do need a partner first. And keeping someones interest for more then a few months has proven to be difficult in New York.

Now I just have to figure out what my dating expectations are, because I've realized. I don't have any. So without expectations how can I possibly find a match.

Comments

[Marko]

I really enjoy reading your blog ~ I find your writing throught-provoking...
I am currently in NYC for a few days ~ maybe we could meet up and chat?!?! My e-mail is [email protected]!
Huggies,
Marko :D

[Jess]

It's not easy, that's for sure.

[Rod]

Why do you think it's difficult? Because so many choices, maybe? or the flaky factor?

[Another NYC Boy]

I spent forever trying to figure out what I was doing wrong - it was what I think you're doing (having read your blog for a couple of months).

You're analyzing waaaay too much. If you get with someone, Great! If he doesn't have a six-pack, Great! If it doesn't last forever, Great! You can't get caught up in the "I could" or "I should" or "I might," because the only thing you have control over is the "I am," which you WANT to turn into, "We are."

[eKapa]

i can so relate to your post. not that i've been dating much. heck, have had one date in almost two years! but i'd love to meet someone that "fits my bill" too...and i guess i have to know what i want too.

my problem is where do i meet guys/people besides at clubs and the net. it's not like eligible gay guys meet eligible nice me in coffee shops and stuff....

which brings me to my rant: "crap, i'm gonna be single for the rest of my life."

good luck :-)

p.s. did u meet marco for a "chat"? :-)

[Eddie]

You bring up some interesting issues. I think being single is a blessing in many ways, but I totally understand what you are going through.

I've thought about adopting a child as a single, gay man and my fear is that once I do, will I have given up any hope of finding Mr. Right?

And does being happily single and self-sufficient make me less "boyfriend material?"

It's very tough dating in the gay world. But I'm glad that you are writing about it honestly.

I wish you the best of luck.

[TweedleDee]

At least you can date guys!

As an Asian with menstral cycles, I can't get ANY guys to date! That's right! ZERO! Those stupid online dating sites are useless, and so is the Asian friend finder which really doesn't have any enrollment!

Maybe YOU are taking all the dates! Have ya ever thought of that? Yeah, you and your picky high expectations and gobbling up of guys leave Asians like me dateless!

[TweedleDee]

Oh, and you guys are exchanging numbers with each other. How COZY... how pathetically predictable! Everyone will be so joyous, so GAY!!!!!!!!!!

You're all so in love with each other. Why don't you all have a harem together on this blog! Yeah, be GAY GAY GAY! Take all the dates and be GAY GAY GAY!

[Derrick]

dating for me has always just been so complicated. not that i've been doing it long anyways. i'm 25 now and i didn't really start dating until 21 i would guess. but i never really looked for anything. like, you say you had a point where you wanted mister abs and all that but i was totally just throwing myself into it with such innocent naivete. i just wanted that "click", ya know? i mean, you cudda been overweight or not popularly attractive but if we had that--that's all it took. unfortunately, that didn't work lol. dating can become so political sometimes. i mean, when insecurities come in and baggage and mis-read signals. i guess my point is, sometimes you just gotta chill and go with it. i once went on a blind date where i dictated the entire date in the 1st ten mins. he was utterly gorgeous and i told him like, "you're not going to wanna be with me so we can end this now if you want. you don't have to be polite and continue this." he looked at me like i had two heads! turned out he DID like me. so...after that, i realized not to over-analyze. and you, Alex, i think could probably fare better to try not to do the same.

[eric]

I like that the title of this post is "dating goal." someone once told me that half the battle for dating is just meeting enough people, that it is a numbers game... meet enough guys and voila, soon enough someone matches your criteria. now if I can just crack the nut about where to meet quality guys :-) bars ain't doin' a lot for me.